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Homesick Is Where The Heart Is

from The Inevitable Effort by AllOne

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about

Walking on eggshells through the stomping grounds of memory lane.

Examining who I am through the lens of where I was.

Dealing with the literal and figurative loss of friends. Seeing how people become attached as though you grew a part, and then detached as you grow apart.

Hoping to instill pride in the absent characters of my inner childhood memories.

Acknowledging the subconscious need to keep my past afloat, and desiring to do so without pedaling backwards. Answering these puzzles by learning from the past and projecting wisdom to myself and my new friends in the future.

lyrics

I'm home sick but needed to move out
All alone in the streets of this new town,
on a road trip, try teaching it to crowds,
The things that I grew, sprouted
since leaving my root's grounds.

My roots my throne and place,
my roost, my home estate,
is blue as ever, though its almost gray.
a poet'd claim it's a moping complaining
man whose bones would quake,
when the weakest wind would blow its frame,
adjacent to the school we used to go and skate,
or when was cold we'd play with snowy caves or,
sneak into the sump's slopes to sleigh
something spellbinding experienced in them slower days,
but oddly Newfield is starting to feel Old and Plain,
after Jericho my folks only waited two grades,
to nomad stray mobile and stake tents down,
3 rooms just won't contain six now,
Smithtown was unknown and strange,
I was stubborn, seldom a social strain,
unapproachable homesick for Selden, strode and slaved
to visit it sit with my kin since I felt solely safe.
After I awoke and gained friends, sold insane flicks
returned in '08, to live with old neighbors in a low-rate,
donated crib, off the philanthropy and love of Loretta and my homie Greg,
that's family enough, indefinitely I owe you thanks,
after two years, in my chosen quaint abode and base
I shed that shed, for a higher calling that phoned my brain,
off the Rolodex of notes I'd take in between working
that fast food pass through window and late night
strolls that glowed with brake lights noses cloaked in fragrant
smoke and spray cans when I'd gaze as Roamer stained a DaVinci Coding glaze
over the gross mundane chicken scratch on bricks with tats
from toys who gloated game but know no grace,
An era, I mostly crave, I've groaning crazed,
sinking shrinking feelings but also growing pains,
I know the saying “nothing gold can stay” this felt this potent sagely
quote retained the woeful dates the ghosts of greats like Poppy and Dano's
souls were towed away, At last: it abated shoulder's weight I took it to motivate.
so I hit the blotched road that's way overdue for coat of paint
and repair of those potholes like graves that pockmark its broken face
to go and make a show out of my boldest traits,
with what I wrote on page printed, when I flow on stage spitting
in hopes to change listeners and bestow the same wisdom.

I'm home sick but needed to move out
All alone in the streets of this new town,
on a road trip, try teaching it to crowds,
The things that I grew, sprouted
since leaving my root's grounds.

To be honest and admit it, I'd rather pay homage than a visit,
to the stomping grounds I lived in, as its odd all of the differences
the altering businesses, in the faltering flimsy strips.
The boarded up windows split from the mom-n-pop's withering,
the nostalgia I get hit with, as my childhood's reminisced.
Call it a haunt with conviction, with all the horror considered when,
seeing the hollow eyed filthy kids, who are clawing to fill a fix,
the mauling of innocence, shredded to shriveled bits of festering filaments.
No belonging's felt in the midst of this just nauseousness from homesickness.
When I'm taking stock of things altered on my old property,
frustrated feelin' like a foreign freak,
now I talk on beats recording these philosophies intensified
all with the oddest feeling of destiny to represent these times,
with a legacy I intend to write in songs to feed my obsolete
friends a sense of pride.
Despite that when I get to see them
it's never what I'd expect to find.

Suddenly I get to bump
into someone I haven't seen in 7 months,
spend a couple minutes catching up,
some retrospective chuckles on
how our friendship was
talk about what severed us,
exchange cell numbers,
It's never mentioned but
I knew he blew off my message once,
we swear we'll change our ways
after we take our separate ones,
well it's another several months,
the phone's yet to buzz,
I guess I should expect as much,
in these situations it rarely ever does,
so my sincerest respect and love
to all of those who've kept in touch.

I'm home sick but needed to move out
All alone in the streets of this new town,
on a road trip, try teaching it to crowds,
The things that I grew, sprouted
since leaving my root's grounds.

credits

from The Inevitable Effort, track released June 10, 2012
Lyrics written and performed by Bruce "AllOne" Pandolfo. Production by Charlie Button. Recording, Mixing and Mastering by Michael Korb.

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about

AllOne

Left-field rapper, slam poet, singer/songwriter, and author Bruce Pandolfo from Long Island.
Creating to connect. Obsessively exploring and creating art as healing and growing.

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