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I Get Down

from The Inevitable Effort by AllOne

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about

Wondering if successful artists ever have a bad day or just feel awful. Wondering how a majority can relate to people who seemingly don't.

Shedding light on the darkest corners of my head.

Revealing all my secrets in hopes that my secrets will reveal me. Which will in turn perhaps restoring an orderliness and solace among the chaos.

If I can map out my flaws and weak spots, maybe I can make room enough to live with them without tripping over them.

lyrics

When they “Get Down”
it's dancing in a session or rapping with aggression.
When I “Get Down”
it's a rapid sick descent into sadness and depression
I got to wishing that if I had half the optimism or
the proper wisdom in my doctorate writtens
then I could boldly pay tenfold the cost of living.
I'm not as altruistic as I've intuition with predictions,
I read my ripping palms enough minutes to gather my grip on
reality and the bar I set at a dizzying distance is slipping.
You relate to it? Gosh I'm glad I fathered it!
But if you hate it then I'm a dead beat dad no one should bother with.
Little orphan ante-up no clue who my daughter is,
but if shes made of songs I writ I'm grateful my name won't be carried on by this.
“All” right? Harsh I guess, but not preposterous
I'm a presumptuous pessimistic glutton for punishment,
starving artist loving the blood I lick off my upper lip,
Scrumptious the succulent failure tastes like puzzlement,
the bludgeoning resulting from suffering with
a subtle hint of crushed up wishes crumbled in.
No hip rap or hit tracks, but I laughably intend to make an impact
so I never hit that hay, only used sheets are loose leaf getting wet,
burning midnight oil and the wick at each end. my eyes bleeding and red
ironic all these dreams I invent but I'll sleep when I'm dead.
My infectious obsession with this craft as captain is hazardous,
reclusive passionate rationing social status just to hatch all this,
tragic mess, rotten nest egg in one basket's net, run the numbers on the abacus,
dashing a mini tour through my collapsing elaborate cerebral labyrinth,
Masochist, give my jaw's glass a jagged kiss, kicked to the curb stomp shatter it then
slash your wrists, my cardiac's intense at times I feel I'll crack a rib,
I'm an ass attached to my master's caravan masked with a canvas tent,
Miscarriage baby talk this is a blasphemous sick marriage,
the black swan song rings a wedding bell I'm alarmed when I'm asking this:
“Is a greater creative Cabinet the catalyst or is it my craftsmanship?”
or “Would I'd rather them love me or my opus magnum manuscript?”
and I'm rattled when I don't know how to answer them.

When they “Get Down”
it's dancing in a session or rapping with aggression.
When I “Get Down”
it's a rapid sick descent into sadness and depression

Strange I notice I feel more comfortable in front of those thick,
big crowds but when I'm off stage I feel more safe once it thins down.
Assumed I knew the ins and outs of this town, but I sense something
fishy about it similar to Innsmouth. Sinister, unsafe in my own skin now.
I sit down with my pen plow and till doubts until clouds spill spout significance.
Take my moleskin and Bic, and quilt myself a chrysalis,
Hurricane Houdini butterfly effect twister swiveling,
listeners permit and consider this my will in script,
I wish my commemorative obelisk to be a spigot serving
the thirsty an opulent oasis to drink it, taste it and fill their fix.
Down the rabbit hole like Lewis Carol wrote
of Alice though it's dangerous unknowing
where you have to go, ask Joyce Carol Oates.
To be honest I feel monstrous like Charlize Theron
or Christina, both, While I attempt genius strokes
contemplating alienation as when Edith wrote Ethan Frome.
Downhill, upset, set up, off kilter,
downright up tight, insight blindsided,
out of luck, in the wrong, I'm finished and nothing's done.
Understand I'm overwhelmed, “well, so?” or “So Well!”?
Heavenly to have a hell, rained parade dry spell,
spellbound and bound to spell, keep to myself, no one to tell.
Upstanding, downtrodden, glass ceiling rock bottom,
hard headed, soft spoken, close minded talks open,
fixated on broken, shrink my head thoughts growing,
black sheep brown nosing, red eyed out of the blue,
yellow belly I'm marooned, purple bruises white lie,
wet ears dry eyes, let me go, squeeze me tight,
push me off, please pull it, pillow talk, sheet music,
feel deserted, water bed, squared off circle of friends,
scared straight, round the bend, starting over at the end,
heart murmur getting loud, nothing's right, left out,
down to earth, head in clouds, swimmingly, getting drowned,
getting lost while I've found, I'm giving up when getting down.

When they “Get Down”
it's dancing in a session or rapping with aggression.
When I “Get Down”
it's a rapid sick descent into sadness and depression

credits

from The Inevitable Effort, track released June 10, 2012
Lyrics written and performed by Bruce "AllOne" Pandolfo. Production by Charlie Button. Recording, Mixing and Mastering by Michael Korb.

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about

AllOne

Left-field rapper, slam poet, singer/songwriter, and author Bruce Pandolfo from Long Island.
Creating to connect. Obsessively exploring and creating art as healing and growing.

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